Coffee and Enhanced Powered Humans DON'T Mix
by EpicKiya
Summary: Tony's crazy. It's no secret. Nope, long passed that. Yet, who would have thought he would be the reason that one of the rooms at SHIELD Headquarters was redecorated, Clint's suffering from superpower love spells, and a baby was on their way?


**Coffee and Enhanced Powered Humans DON'T Mix**

 **Summary: Tony's crazy. It's no secret. Nope, long passed that. Yet, who would have thought he would be the reason that one of the rooms at SHIELD Headquarters was redecorated, Clint's suffering from superpower love spells, and a baby was on their way?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the awesomeness that we call the Avengers. Or any other franchise, songs, and other media mentioned. But I do own Leia, and other OCs that appear in this fic.**

 **Notes: This is a sequel to "The Things Nick Banned Us to Do" (which is the sequel to "Spells Make Avengers Do Crazy Things"). So some of the rules mentioned in that story may be referenced in here. AAMOF, one of the rules is the focus of this fic. It's rule #8 of Chapter 7 - The Maximoff Twins. Feel free to read it.**

 **Warnings: Yaoi, mpreg, cussing (of course with Tony here.), bit of violence, hysterics, drama, graphics, sexual content, fluffiness, and out of the blue randomness.**

 **Onward to the story!**

* * *

Clint had woken up to two arms wrapped around his waist, a chest pressed against his back. He looked back over his shoulder to see it was just Pietro, sleeping peacefully. He turned around, pressing his head on the other's chest.

"Pietro..."

"A few more minutes.", the younger mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. Clint felt his hands ghost over the small of his back, drawing his fingers under his sleeping shirt. The older chuckled, pushing himself up a bit to look at the clock. It was well past ten in the morning. "Pietro, the others may be awake. Nat and Steve are probably making breakfast right now." The younger opened his eyes, staring down at Clint. "Don't care. Rather sleep in with you.", he said.

"Not going to happen, Speedy. Now come on." Pietro grumbled, tightening his hold around Clint's waist. He closed his eyes, mumbling something that Clint was sure was another protest. The archer sighed, removing the younger's arms from around his waist before going into the bathroom. About thirty minutes later, he came out fully freshened, a plum towel wrapped around his waist. Pietro opened one of his eyes and looked over his shoulder. He smirked, flipping on his other side. "I would like to know if you're naked under that."

Clint placed on some boxers, going beneath his towel before taking off his towel. "No." Pietro groaned in displeasure. "Baby Hawky..."

"Don't call me that.", the older warned, finishing up in the clothes department with a dark blue tee shirt and jeans. He bent down over Pietro and kissed his forehead. "Pietro, come to breakfast with me."

"No." Clint gave up. He decided to let Pietro sleep in and headed off to the kitchen. As he expected, Natasha was there cooking, but this time with Bruce. They were stacking up waffles and bacon on plates. Tony was by the coffee machine making coffee as usual.

"Mornin'.", the archer greeted, getting out some plates.

"Morning, Clint. Pietro's sleeping in?", Natasha asked. Clint shrugged. "I guess so. He tried to keep me in bed."

"Cuddler. He's a cuddler. Hey, is Thor back yet?", Bruce asked.

"No. Friday is keeping an update for his return.", Tony answered. He leaned back against the counter, sipping his coffee. "Can't you believe that Steve and him are married now?"

"Didn't see that coming.", Clint teased, quoting his boyfriend. "A week now, too. They're going on their honeymoon later this week, right?"

"Yeah. To Asgard!", Tony mocked in his best Thor voice while lifting his coffee mug. Sam, Wanda, and Vision walked in. The female of the trio looked out of comfort in jeans and an over-sized red tee. She looked like she was suffering from a hangover. "Wanda, are you okay?", Natasha asked, walking to her side and placing a hand on the younger's shoulder. In response, Wanda just grumbled. Vision sighed behind her. "She had difficulty waking up this morning. Wanda preferred to stay in bed."

"Pietro was like that, too. He was all grumpy, a little flirty, too.", Clint admitted, sipping his orange juice. He placed two pancakes on his plate, adding some bacon on the side. Vision glanced down at Wanda with a slight smile of his face. "She was a bit flirty, too."

"I can still hear, you know.", the female Maximoff hissed, her eyes still closed. "And I wasn't flirty."

"How come you wanted me snuggle in bed with you? Commenting on how warm my body is against yours?" Bruce blushed at the ex-AI's comment, coughing a bit. "Oh boy." Wanda glanced up at the red tinted male. "I wanted to be comfortable."

"Comfortable, you say."

"Shut up."

"Wow. I thought I was supposed to be the grumpy one." The group turned to see Steve waddling in the kitchen, Bucky guiding him by his waist. The blonde was now at his ninth month, meaning the baby was due any time now. And Steve was ready for them. He was anxious to know the bundle of joy inside him, just as much as Thor did. Each passing day the newly wedded couple grew excited and scared as the due date came closer. It could be any day now.

"I mean, come on. My back isn't the best right now and my ankles are swollen.", Steve said as Bucky helped him into one of the chairs. Natasha walked over to him with a fixed plate of breakfast for him. "Yeah. You look like you could pop any day now."

Steve nodded, placing a hand on his stomach, looking down at it with glee. "I know I do. I'm ready for it, too. Sure, nervous about being a parent, but I'm ready. I fought in wars, fought an alien army, and stopped global destruction... hell, before I got this big I helped stop an invasion of serum induced kittens. I think I'm ready."

Bucky sighed, shaking his head a little. "I can't believe it. I'm going to be an uncle! A niece or a nephew!"

"Hey! Shut up!", Wanda growled, glaring at the brunet soldier with red gleaming eyes. The older frowned at her, but settled down none the less.

* * *

An hour and a half passed since breakfast. Wanda still occupied her sleeping space at the kitchen table, this time with her brother.

The others were wondering about the Tower doing whatever.

Natasha and Clint went to the gym to work out and spar for a bit. Bruce and his Science Boyfriend in crime were in the lab. Vision was with them. That left Sam, Bucky, and Steve in the living room. Steve was sitting by the window, looking out for any sign of his thunder using husband to show up while sketching in his sketchpad. Bucky and Sam were cuddled on the couch, watching him.

"Steve, you think Thor will be back in time for the baby?", Sam asked out of the blue. That earned him a look from Steve. Not an angered one, but one of slight confusion and worry. "I hope so. I know he went to Asgard to set everything for our honeymoon and talk to his father about our marriage."

"Does he scares you?", Bucky questioned, wrapping his flesh around Sam's waist to pull him closer. Steve shook his head. "No actually. For our first date, Thor took me to Asgard to meet his parents. Odin apparently heard about me before then and was quite thrilled with me being his son's mate. You should have seen him. He complimented me a lot. His mother is a sweet woman. She was cuddling me through dinner, pinching my cheeks and all."

"Wondered how they reacted to finding out your pregnancy."

"It was like Loki, Phil, Maria, and the Twins eating my cookies all at once."

"Damn."

"Yep."

Clint had walked in at that moment. He was rubbing his arm while mumbling something about Natasha and her vicious kicks. He flopped down next to the couple. "Never training with Natasha on a Thursday again."

"You mean... Thor's day?", Bucky teased. Steve giggled at his joke, closing his sketchpad and setting it down. "You've been hanging around Tony too much."

"Not too much. Still mad at him about the sandwich incident."

"You're still going on about that?", Sam questioned, giving his boyfriend a look. Bucky growled. "I know he did it on purpose."

Sam leaned up and kissed the other on his lips. "Sure he did."

And speaking of the genius...

At the moment, Tony was on his way from the lab to his room. Bruce needed the wrench, but it was there. So being the good BF he was, Tony went to go get it. On his way, he noticed that Pietro and Wanda were still inside the kitchen sleeping. This time Pietro was on the floor on his stomach while Wanda was curled on the table like a cat.

Tony walked in, holding in a laugh to keep them from waking up. He took a picture on his phone before walking further in. An idea had come to his mind.

And he was sure that it was a good one.

He went over to the coffee machine, stepping over Pietro, and brew two mugs of coffee. He set them on the counter before going over to each twin and shaking them awake. "WAKE UP, MAXIMOFF!"

Out of instinct, Wanda blasted a red spark in Tony's direction. Tony ducked out the way, shouting a bit comically. He glanced at the female Maximoff and found her sitting up while rubbing her eyes. "Ah. Why was I woken?", she asked just as her twin sat up on the floor and leaned back against one of the legs of the table. "What time is it?"

"Well past one in the afternoon. Got something for ya.", Tony said, giving them each a mug. Pietro took a sniff of his and handed back to him. "Oh no. We're not allowed to have coffee, Stark."

"No. You're not allowed to attend coffee shops without supervision. One, we're not at a coffee shop. Two, I'm here. So, supervision."

"Sorry, but I'm going to be honest. We do not trust you.", Wanda admitted. Tony gave her a deadpanned look. "Nice to know I'm loved.", he sassed blandly. He placed the mug back in Pietro's hands. "Just drink it."

The twins exchanged looks, looked into their mugs, and then at Tony.

"Are you sure?", they unionized. Tony sighed, crossing his arms. "Just. Drink. It."

Pietro looked back at his mug. "I guess we could."

"I want some sugar with mine."

Tony shrugged this time, getting the sugar and putting a "decent" amount of it in their coffee. After stirring, the twins drunk it, wondering what could be the worse to happen.

* * *

About two hours later, Bruce had come from the lab, going to search for Tony. He hadn't returned since then and the other scientist grew worried for him. He found Tony under the table knocked out on his back. He would let out groans now and then.

Bruce rushed to his side and started to shake him awake. "Tony! Tony, wake up!"

Tony sat up out of instinct. He bumped his head on the table with a shout. "Ow! Damn it!"

The doctor moved back, helping him out from under the table. He guided Tony on to a stool and pushed back his locks to inspect any scars or bumps. "You're good."

"It hurts though."

"Deal with it. Now tell me what happened. Why were you laid out on the floor?"

That's when Tony's eyes widened in fear. "Oh shit."

Bruce became really concerned. Something bad happened. And not that he thought about it... the twins weren't in the kitchen where he last saw them. "Tony... where are they?" Tony's dark eyes snapped over to Bruce. "I don't know."

"What the hell you mean you don't know?"

Tony suddenly stood and ran out the kitchen. Bruce quickly followed after him. The duo had rushed through the den where the others were, which drew their attention. Sam and Bucky had ran after them, finding the two in the lab where Tony was putting on his suit. "Tony! Tell me what's going on?!", the couple heard Bruce demand. Once his suit was on him fully, the billionaire genius answered.

"Bruce, I believe I am have release the end of the world's cause. Pietro and Wanda have to be found now!"

"Why?", Sam questioned, just as Steve, Clint, Vision and Natasha came in.

The older man sighed. "They're probably on a coffee rush right now. When they got coffee their eyes got all big and bright. Next thing I know, Wanda was shooting out random red blasts and Pietro was running around like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I got knocked out in the process."

"Wait! What do you mean that they had coffee? Where did they get it fr... ANTHONY! YOU GAVE IT TO THEM!", Steve shouted, his face becoming as bright red as his husband's cape. Tony winced at the shout, taking a yard length back. "Maybe. They were just so tired and I thought I should help them out."

"THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE COFFEE!"

"I forgot!", the other lied. Vision quickly rushed to Steve's side before he jumped Tony. He grabbed his arms gently, mindful of his pregnancy. "Steven, you must be calm. Stressing out like this may cause harm to you and the baby.", the ex-AI reminded. "Take deep breaths."

The blonde exhaled sharply at first, but it slowly became calmer. Yet, the whole time he kept his glare on Tony. "Find them. They may get themselves or others hurt.", he said with less anger. Not wanting to engage in a death battle, Tony nodded and hauled ass out the lab.

Natasha and Clint exchanged. "We should probably help him."

"Agreed, Tasha. Sam, come with us. Bucky, think you and Vision can stay with Steve?", Clint asked. Bucky and Vision nodded, the latter helping Steve down as he continued breathing out. "Yeah. Just find those two before we have another invasion of kittens to stop.", Bucky said back.

The trio rushed out, getting their equipment ready.

"Friday, you think you can see if they're still in the Tower?", Bruce asked.

 **"They're not, Dr. Banner-Stark."**

Bruce's face became blank comically. He sighed, and you could have sworn you saw a sweat drop. "Tony told you to call me that, huh?"

 **"I will not lie. Yes, yes he did. He had also suggested that your names be combined to save trouble. He asked if Stanner or Bark was better. I told him to get you for that. But personally, I believe Stanner is better."**

"Thanks for your input, Friday. Any clue where the twins may be?"

It took a few minutes before the female AI answered. **"They're heading to the supermarket, sir. By foot for Mr. Maximoff and one of Mr. Stark's vehicles for Ms. Maximoff."**

"Inform Tony and the others. I'm going to SHIELD HQ."

"Wait. Why are you going?", Steve asked. "I'm going to warn Nick and the others in case we have a real issue occur. We might need back-up later.", Bruce answered before heading down to the garage. Steve had whimpered, thinking about the bad things that could happen. "Oh dear. If only Thor was here.", he groaned.

Bucky patted his shoulder in comfort. "He will be soon, Stevie. I'm sure he's missing you just as much."

"I know. Just worried."

* * *

Two pairs of brown and blue eyes stared at the various items on the shelves. They moved the shopping cart back and forth between them. "What color do you think it would look good in?", Wanda asked, staring between the different printed duct tape.

Pietro shrugged, his blue eyes brighter and bigger. "Don't know. Hey! How about we paint it both red and blue? With some white and pink for good measure?!", he asked excitedly. Wanda nodded, smiling like a kid in a candy store. "YES! WE WILL NEED LOTS OF IT!"

The twins grabbed about thirty paint cans of red, white, blue and pink with some containers of glitter. How they managed to fit it all in one shopping cart was a disbelief for onlookers.

They went to one of the opened aisles, rushing down to it until they got to the cashier. She looked really scared when the twins practically jumped on the counter to greet her.

"HI! WE WANT TO PAY FOR THE GLITTER AND PAINT!"

"Um... okay... cash or card?", the cashier asked nervously, stepping back a bit. Pietro handed her one of the debit cards he got from Tony's wallet, along with the pin number for it. After paying the twins headed out to the parking lot, leaving the cashier and the customers to wonder if the Twins were on the stuff.

They made it out to the parking lot. Pietro was pushing the cart while Wanda guided, and skipped, to their "burrowed" vehicles. They opened the trunk and began to load it up until an arrow attached itself to the car. They looked at the arrow and then behind them. Clint was standing there with his arrows ready, two of them ready to be shot out. Behind him was Natasha and Sam.

"That was a warning shot. Now, both of you move away from the car and leave the paint cans and glitter alone."

Pietro smirked. His eyes seem to flash in mischief. "Ah, my little archer. You look quite ravishing."

A blush was added to a cold expression. "Pietro Maximoff, don't flirt with me right now. Step away from the car.", Barton hissed, pulling his arrows back further. The speedster looked back at his sister and then back at the other three. "No."

"Pietro.", Natasha warned as she stepped forward, getting out her tranquilizer guns. She had to admit, the Twins' eyes were freaking her out. All wide and bright, and hyped up on coffee. Geez. And it would take more to freak her out. A lot more.

The speedster smirked, giving a Loki-like grin.

"Now we shouldn't do anything hasty right now."

"Oh? What's with the paint and glitter?", Sam asked. Wanda looked back at said items then back at him, a grin on her lips. "Just to have fun with. Don't worry, it's harmless."

"I beg to differ. Step away from- MMMFF!"

Clint was taken by surprise with Pietro used his speed and went to his side. He grabbed the older by the waist and kissed him rather hard and passionately. The archer was left in a dazed state when Pietro let him loose. "Wow."

"Clint! No time to stand there! Shoot them!", Natasha ordered as she began to shoot out darts at the twins. Wanda was blocking them with her force field while Pietro stayed behind her to finish loading the paint and glitter. Clint shook his head, snapping out his gaze and immediately shooting at the twins. Pietro finished loading the car, slamming the trunk down and grabbing his sister.

"NO TIME TO WASTE!", he shouted. Wanda jumped into the car with an excited squeal as Pietro started it. Clint ran over, jumping onto the car with grace and aiming his arrow through the sunroof window. "Stop the car right now, Maximoff!"

"NEVER, MY LITTLE BIRD!"

Wanda opened the sunroof window, standing through it. Clint didn't have time to react as her hands let a red smoke hit him. He fell back, but Sam caught him in time before he collided with the pavement. Natasha had stopped at their side, noting that Clint was now unconscious. "Damn."

"Well, this sucks."

"What does?"

The (conscious) duo turned to see Tony walking up to them after a land. In his hand was a sandwich he was snacking on. Natasha glared at him. "Where have you been?"

"Grabbed a snack. Was that them I just saw take off?"

"Yes, Tony. And with them was a ton of glitter and paint.", Sam answered angrily, crossing his arms with a huff. Tony noted that the two were angry and moved back. "Alright. Alright. I'm sorry. How about I go stop them from heading where ever they're going to?"

"Do that.", the other two unionized. Sam lifted Clint bridal style, heading to their black sleek car to set him down in. When he was settled, Sam took off to give Tony some air support with Nat following them close behind.

* * *

"Sir, Dr. Banner is here to see you."

Fury looked up to see an agent and Bruce walk into his office. He noticed the worry on Bruce's face. "Banner, is something the matter?"

"Terribly.", Bruce answered without much of a thought. He looked ready to Hulk out. Fury excused the agent out, letting Bruce sit down in one of the chairs. "Okay, breathe out first. You look ready to attack someone."

Bruce gave a dry laugh. "I just might be boyfriend-less later today."

By that response Nick knew Tony had done something he shouldn't have. "What did he do this time?", he groaned out. Brown eyes looked up at him with slight fear. "Know how the Maximoffs shouldn't have coffee?"

* * *

Bucky couldn't help but noticed how nervous Steve was making them both. Vision looked okay, looking as if he wasn't affected by Steve's constantly bouncing leg and lip biting. But the brunet soldier was. He was sitting right next to him, trying to focus on the show playing on the screen.

No use.

Steve would let out soft whimpers once in a while, too. He would close his eyes for a minute, his hand on the lowest part of his stomach. Then he would shift and relax with a soft sigh.

After the tenth time, Bucky couldn't take it anymore.

"Steve, are you okay? You've been kind of fidgety for the past thirty minutes."

The blonde glanced at Bucky. "Oh, sorry, Bucky. I'm okay. Just experiencing some pains from the little nudger's kicks. Bruce said I might when the labor gets closer. It's normal."

"Do you need anything for the pain?", Vision asked, ready to get up. Steve shook his head. "No. I'm fine. But I could go for a sandwich."

"What ki-"

"A peanut and pickle sandwich with a side of Nutella dipped carrots... and ranch."

Bucky made a face. "Ew."

"Bucky, can you help me to the bathroom? I have to pee."

The brunet helped the blonde up off the sofa and led him to the bathroom while Vision went to go make his sandwich. When they got to the bathroom, Bucky had offered to help him inside, but Steve slammed the door in his face. The brunet figured Steve wanted some privacy, but then after twenty minutes he got concerned. Vision had come holding the sandwich in his hands with a blank expression.

"Does it normally take a pregnant person that long?", he asked.

Bucky shook his head. "Not Steve." He knocked on the door. "Stevie, are you okay in there?" No answer. "Steve? Bro? Answer me."

 **"Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers-Odinson isn't in there. He escaped through the vents fifteen minutes ago."** , Friday said. Bucky and Vision gasped. "FRIDAY!"

 **"Thought it would take you sooner to ask."**

"Where is he now?", Vision asked, more calmly. Though in the inside of his mind he was freaking out. He knew if anything happened to Steve, Thor was going to flip his shit. That wasn't a pretty sight.

 **"He's on his way to the garage I believe. He stopped by his room to change. I guess into something more comfortable. He also has his shield."**

"Thanks. Come on, Vision!"

The duo quickly made their way down to the garage, thankful that the Tower's elevators were very fast. When they got there, they spotted Steve starting one of the cars, presumably Clint's by the dark purple tint on it. Bucky jumped in front of it, making the blonde inside stomp on the brakes. Steve rolled down the window, and poked outside of it. "WHAT THE HELL, BARNES?!"

"Steve, what in the world are you doing?", Bucky asked, rounding to the driver's side. Steve pouted cutely, crossing his arms and leaning back into the seat. "I just wanted to go out. I'm bored and being stuck in the Tower isn't helping."

"You realize that if something happened to you Thor will possibly kill all of us, right?"

"I wasn't going to go do something dangerous."

"Yeah, right.", Bucky scoffed. "Why do you have your shield then?" Steve stole a glance at his said weapon and back at the duo. "Um... I have no idea how it got there.", he lied. Bucky and Vision crossed their arms. They gave him that "You're a liar, liar" look.

Steve sighed. "Okay. Okay. I was heading over to the Headquarters to help the others."

"Pregnant?", Vision questioned.

The blonde scrunched his nose. "Maybe..."

"Steven..."

"Alright! I won't do anything harsh. Just want to see how this all plays out. Also gives me the excuse to kill Tony later if something majorly bad happens today."

Bucky thought about for a bit. He could take Steve to the HQ himself and keep him out of harm's way. Steve's entertained and not crazy (being influenced by his pregnant hormones) and Bucky can keep everyone from dying at the hands of a blond thunder bloodthirsty god.

"Okay. But I'm driving you there. Also, you may not engage in anything that requires you to use your shield or fight. Got it?"

"Yes, sir.", Steve answered with a tease, scooting into the passenger's seat.

* * *

Within another realm, Thor was feeling uneasy. He was listening to his father talk about various things intently, but at the same time his mind would wonder off to his friends back on Midgard. Especially onto one particular individual.

Odin seem to notice his discomfort and stopped talking. "Son, is something the matter?"

Thor's blue eyes moved from the orange tinted sky to Odin's. "Nothing to be ill-minded over, Father."

"Don't lie, Thor. You're thinking of your husband.", Loki said from his seat by the window. He was reading a book, probably one their mother had given them. He stood up, walking over to his older counterpart. "You're worried for him. And you miss him dearly."

The blonde bit his lip before sighing deeply. "You are right, brother. I may worried for my Steven. He's due to give birth any day now."

"Yup! So let's go to him! You have everything set for your honeymoon suite anyways! And I want to see my brother-in-law! We'll see you soon, mother and father!" Thor gave an out-of-character yelp as Loki practically dragged him away to where Heimdall was. Odin and his wife could only watch in mere confusion and amusement. They figured Loki wanted some entertainment, his only reason for leaving in such a hurry.

* * *

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back... stop and stare. And forth.

These were the movements of a certain magic using female individual. Wanda was currently walking back and forth, thinking of the walls she glanced at mere seconds ago.

"Which color do you think should go on first?", Pietro asked, grabbing a paint can of blue paint and another of pink.

The twins had managed somehow in some shape or form to get thirty paint cans and containers of glitter into one of the rooms of the HQ without detection. Key: They were trained by Clint.

Wanda tapped her chin in thought before gasping as an idea struck her. "I got it! We should just throw the paint on there at the same time!" Pietro nodded at the idea. "Let's!"

The two opened up four paint cans, one of each color. They got ready to throw the paint on the wall before a scent hit them. Their wide eyed gazes snapped to the door before rushing to it and flinging it open. They noticed a young female holding a cup, sipping it once in a while as she read a file in her hands. It amazed them how graceful she was in her walk. It was as if she didn't need her eyes to see. She was practically a fucking ninja dodging the passing agents.

And she made it truer when she stopped just in front of the twins. She looked at them, a perfect eyebrow raised. "Need anything?"

"What is that you're drinking?", they asked together. The girl looked unfazed at that, like she had seen and heard weirder.

"It's coffee. It's in the kitchen if you want some.", she answered blankly. She didn't know the damage she had caused. Without a response, Pietro picked up his sister and ran into the direction of the kitchen. Leia was left blinking, not sure or what to make out of what just happened.

"Huh. Uncle Nick never told how crazy the team really is.", she muttered to herself as she continued walking.

* * *

In another part of the building, Fury was grumbling at his desk. About a few minutes ago, Clint, Tony, Natasha and Sam came into his office to tell him the Twins managed to escape him. Well, Clint was still unconscious which just brought Fury in more distress.

"How in the hell did they managed to escape your grasp?", he asked with a heavy sigh. Natasha glared at Tony. "Well, if this one haven't gave them coffee we wouldn't have this problem. And he had the nerve to stop for a sandwich!"

"I was hungry!", Tony protested. Bruce grabbed him and silenced him with a kiss. "No. No speak-y from you right now.", he demanded. Tony just smirked and nodded his head, teasing his Science Boyfriend a bit.

Fury looked away from them and at Clint's unconscious form. "Him?"

"Wanda knocked him out with some spell I think.", Sam answered. At that moment, Phil walked in. "Sir, Rogers, Barnes and Vision has arrived.", he announced as Clint began to stir. It caught Phil's attention when the archer groaned, sitting up from the lounge chair he was on. "Um... what happened?"

"During our raid of capturing Pietro and Wanda he was hit with one of Wanda's blasts.", Natasha answered. Phil got to Clint's side to check to see if he was okay. Sometimes, Phil had to worry for his best friend's well-being. The archer has done a lot of life threatening things now and then. And he wasn't use to that yet. Phil doubt he ever will be.

"Barton? Barton?! Wake up!" It was then Clint opened his eyes to reveal a magenta color to them as they landed on Phil.

Phil noticed the sudden longing in his eyes and blinked. "Um... Barton? Are you feeling okay?"

Clint just smiled. Suddenly, he draped his arms around the older man's shoulders to bring him closer. Everyone stilled, watching the scene in interest.

"I smell bad things are about to happen. Very bad things.", Bruce whimpered out, stepping back and making sure to keep Hulk from coming out.

The archer was giggling like a high school girl, leaning very, very close to Phil. Almost to the point of kissing him. Phil was blushing mad. "Barton, you think you can give me a little room?", he asked sheepishly, trying to pry Clint away. Keyword: trying. Clint removed one arm to poke at Phil's nose before kissing it. "Why? I like to be this close to you. You feel so warm and you smell so good.", he said just as Steve, Vision and Bucky walked in.

Despite being the pregnant one, Steve had blushed at the words, noting Clint's straddling position on Phil. "What the heck is going on?"

"You should know. Isn't that how you got pregnant in the first place?", Tony sassed. Both Steve and Bruce smacked the back of his head. "OW!"

"Stark, I'm experiencing pains, swollen body parts some places you don't even want to know, bloating, vomiting, weird appetites, mood swings, and a hint of sexual urges. Now I ask you, do you really want to fuck with me?", Steve hissed, his usual blue eyes darkening.

Tony shook his head. "No, sir."

The others knew that Steve was beyond pissed when he cusses. He was extremely killer mode kind of pissed.

Bucky rubbed his back with his left hand, easing Steve down a bit with the coolness of his hand. "Come down from the tower of anger, Stevie. Remember, pregnant.", he said, poking Steve's stomach to remind of the baby he was carrying. The blonde eyed his best friend before huffing. "I know. Any word of the twins yet?"

"We had a run with them, no pun intended, but they got away. We suspect they're on their way here.", Natasha answered. On the other side of the room, Clint had Phil forced up against a wall, nuzzling his neck and tugging at his belt. The older was constantly trying to push Barton away, but once again he failed.

"Can someone please help me?", he begged. Natasha walked over and began to pull on Barton's collar, pulling him away. "Come on, Clint. You already have a boyfriend and I don't think he will appreciate you feeling up on another man.", she said as she placed Clint in a chair. "Stay.", she demanded. Clint crossed his arms, huffing under his breath. "You're being mean. I want my Phil.", he moaned. Steve sighed. "Clint, you're with Pietro."

Clint scrunched his nose, sticking out his tongue in disgust. "No way! I'm not with him!"

"Yes, you ar- ah!" Steve's hand quickly went to his stomach. He bit his lip as a sharp pain went through him. Bucky grabbed him, settling his younger counterpart on the lounge chair Phil and Clint were on minutes ago. "Steve, are you okay? Do we need to take you to the clinic?", the brunet asked, concern filling his tone. The blonde shook his head. "No. I'm alright. I told you that I'm going to experience this."

Bruce walked over, placing his hand on Steve's lower back. "Well, don't wrap your mind around our current situation right now. It seems that you stressing over it is causing you pain. At least wait till Thor comes back.", the doctor teased a little. It got a smile out the older man. "I'll try."

Sam took his other side and hugged him. "It will be okay, Stevie! Don't worry!"

"I can't help it. Right now, the Twins are doing who knows what? My husband is currently in another realm. Tony's being stupid as usual."

"Hey!"

"Clint's under some spell and is trying to molest Phil. And my baby is due any day now. I can't help but to worry."

"Phil, we should try for a baby.", Clint said, pulling the man by his tie. Phil was forced to come very close to the archer's face, their noses touching. "Um..."

"We could try for twins.", the younger man sing-songed, pecking Phil's nose again. Natasha couldn't help but laugh. Fury sighed. He rubbed his fingertips on his forehead, wondering why he chosen out of all the people, he chose the crazy ones to work for him.

* * *

"It's beautiful."

"Agreed, dear sister. What should we do now?"

The Twins were now sipping coffee they raided from the SHIELD kitchen, sitting on the color splattered floor of the room they "decorated". Each wall was splattered with red, blue, white and pink. The empty cans were spread about the room, one of them embedded in the window from Wanda going overboard.

They sat back to back, each with a refilled cup of coffee and cookies in their laps. Three coffee pots were at least halfway filled with coffee. Filters were also on the floor, either used, not used, or filled with paint and glitter. Coffee bean containers, twenty of them, were empty also and scattered around the twins as well. The coffee machines were broken and sat in a pile in one of the corners of the room. Many of the agents were going to be disappointed later.

Wanda hummed a little before taking another sip of her coffee. Her widened, crazy filled brown eyes looked about the room. She then noticed some of the glitter they haven't used. The younger twin smirked. "I have an idea.", she said, glancing up at the open vent they came through. She stood and rushed over to the glitter and picked up a container.

"We're going to have a party!"

* * *

Two gods had made their landing on the top of the Avengers Tower. Surprisingly, there was minimum damage. Huh. Got to give credit to where it's due.

Thor and Loki made their way inside the building, first heading to the shared bathroom of the thunder god and Steve. Much to the blonde's disappointment, his spouse wasn't there. He checked the other rooms, not paying mind to Loki raiding the kitchen. Fifteen minutes had passed until he realized that no one was in the Tower.

"How odd is that? My beloved is nowhere to be found and neither are my friends."

"That's quite a displeasure. I was looking forward to see my soldier-in-law.", Loki mumbled, eating some Nutella out the jar. Thor eyed him a bit. "Where did you get that?"

"From the cupboard. This nutty, chocolate-y treat is something else. Humans are quite talented when it comes to food."

 **"Indeed, Mr. Laufeyson. And as for the whereabouts of the others, they're at SHIELD Headquarters."** , a feminine voice answered. Loki yelped, falling back and dropping the jar while Thor got into a fighting stance. Seconds later, he eased back when he realized what it was. "Oh. Right. It's just the voice of the Tower.", he assured, helping Loki to his feet. "I believe her name was... Friday?"

 **"Correct, Mr. Odinson."**

"And what of my husband's whereabouts?"

 **"As mentioned, he's with the others at SHIELD. There has been a turn of events that involve Mr. Stark, the Maximoffs and coffee."**

"Doesn't sound quite... pleasant." Thor knew that anything involving coffee, Tony or the Twins wasn't good.

 **"Well, since Mr. Rogers-Odinson reacted quite violently to it, I believe it isn't."**

"Is he alright?"

 **"He hasn't killed anyone yet, so I reckon he is just fine. I suggest that you make your way over to the HQ before something... chaotic happens."**

Thor nodded in understanding. He was relieved to know where Steve was and that he was okay, but his mind came back to the realization that his husband was due to have their baby any day now. It just made the god of thunder anxious now. "COME, BROTHER! MY LOVE AWAITS FOR ME!", the blonde boasted, grabbing Loki and hoisting him over his shoulder.

Loki screamed as Thor flew through the window and away from the Tower. He was in mere horror of leaving the chocolate-y, nutty goodness in a jar behind.

* * *

The group was now in the process of finding the Twins around the HQ. They checked in about twenty rooms so far with major failure of finding them. Sam and Tony flew around outside, but all they found was Tony's abandoned vehicle they carjacked earlier. Sam commented how Tony had it coming.

"Just where could they be?", Nat questioned, looking into a room and closing the door back. "They have to be close. I sense that they are.", Vision commented. He looked to his left to see Clint hanging onto Phil, nuzzling his again. The older agent was blushing like mad. "Oh come on!"

"You seem to be enjoying, Coulson.", Fury teased blandly. Phil glared at him.

Steve gave a soft exhale, stopping suddenly and holding his lower stomach. "I think I might need to sit down right now. I feel like my legs might give out."

At that moment there was a humming sound coming from the vents. Much to the shock, and displeasure, streams of glitter came out from out the vents along with some girl band song. It was recognized as Little Mix's _'Move'_.

Fury grumbled as glitter flooded the halls, many of the agents scattered about and wondering what was going on. One yelled, "GLITTER IN MY EYE! AAAAHHH!"

"I can't believe this."

"Sir, it seems the base is being under attack.", Agent Hill said as she rushed up to the group. Sam shook his head, glitter coming out his short curls. "Nah. The twins are here. They had brought glitter." Fury grunted. "Well, damn."

"Uncle?" The group spotted Nick's niece and new agent, Leia standing there. Her bouncy curls were filled with glitter. Her clothes looked lighter with the sparkling material. "I know where the culprits are."

In seconds flat, they had followed the young female to black double doors. They heard some fast-talking voices inside and a clash of falling containers. Bucky kicked opened the doors, Natasha behind him with her Taser guns out.

On the other side of the room, Pietro was holding Wanda up to a vent. The female twin was dumping large amounts of glitter into the vent, using her powers to blow air into it. Steve had gasped when he noticed the empty coffee pots and broken machines on the floor. "Oh my... WHY?!"

"Rogers, calm down.", Phil said, Clint now rubbing his arm and kissing his cheek. "You're going to go into an early labor." The blonde whimpered, turning his back to the scene so he wouldn't look at the destruction. "I can't do this anymore...", he mumbled. Sam rubbed his back in comfort.

Meanwhile, Vision floated up to Wanda, grabbing her and the glitter. Tony grabbed hold of Pietro, who tried escaping. Wanda was happy at her capture, cuddling in Vision's chest. Natasha walked in, looking around at the 'artwork' on the walls. "Wow.", she whistled. "Nice, no?", the speedster smirked. "It didn't take long to do. Quite messy though."

"I noticed.", Nick deadpanned, noting the dried paint on the twins' clothing. Wanda hummed at him, her lips curled in a wide grin. "But it was fun!"

"I bet. Now let's get this coffee bean poison out your system.", Vision said. Wanda grumbled and started pulling at his cape. "NO!"

"Wanda, please. For your health and sanity, cooperate with us to-"

The ex-AI was interrupted by a kiss from the magic user. Wanda grabbed the collar of his uniform, pulling him forward and deepening the kiss. Bruce gave a squeak, blushing and adjusting his glasses. Natasha and Tony were smirking at the girl's bold display, both thinking, _"I taught her well."_

Steve had looked over his shoulder when he heard the smooching sounds and blushed. "Oh dear..."

"I swear you act like a virgin, but your huge tummy proves otherwise...", Bucky mumbled to himself. From his left, Clint was smirking at the duo kissing and gave Phil a wink. "Pppphhhhiiiillllll... we should do that, too.", he cooed, running his fingers down Phil's neck and grabbing onto his tie. Pietro looked up at the words and growled, seeing how close the two agents are. "NO! GET AWAY FROM MY BIRD!"

Tony shouted when he was knocked down. Pietro rushed over to Phil and Clint, pulling them apart. "No! He's mine, Coulson!", he declared, grabbing Clint's hand and pulling him to his chest. The archer pouted. "I don't like you and I'm not yours! Phil's my boyfriend!", he protested, grabbing the older man's hand and tearing away from Pietro's. The speedster hissed, getting into a fighting stance. Despite his coffee rush, he was damn sure pissed at his boyfriend liking and touching another.

"Clint, get away from him! You're mine!"

"Possessive much?", Leia voiced after a long moment of silence, her fine eyebrow raising in thought. Bruce eyed Tony. "I can sympathize with that."

Tony huffed. "He should have known! No one, and I mean, no one touches my doctor!"

"Guys, I can't take this anymore. I think- ah!" Bucky and Sam quickly went to either side of Steve, catching him before he met the ground. Steve began to breathe harshly, clenching his fingers into each of the men's arms. "I... I..."

"Steve, breathe. Breathe, buddy.", Sam instructed, rubbing Steve's stomach. Steve's teeth clenched as pain rose in his body. "It... hurts..."

The rest of the team gathered around the three, even Vision and Wanda who were done with their make-out. Leia had kneeled down, eying the floor with interest. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Mr. Rogers-Odinson's water broke.", she deadpanned. Said blonde gasped, looking down and paling in horror. "What? No! I can't be in la- argh!"

"Let's get him to a clinic.", Natasha suggested, opening the doors for Phil and Maria to lead the group out.

* * *

Many of the agents was at their wits' end at the hearing of shrill screaming and cussing from a particular area of the HQ. Some of them had hidden themselves from the noise while others tried to block it out and continued clearing out the glitter in the hallways.

Just outside, two tall males landed on the ground with a BOOM. One was mumbling in disgust while the other frantically rushed inside. "Beloved?! Steven?! Where are you?!", Thor bellowed, looking around. Leia had appeared around the corner, glitter still in her hair. "Hello, Mr. Odinson. It's nice for you to have joined us.", she blandly said, grabbing his hand as leading him to the clinic area with Loki following them.

They met the others in the waiting room, each looking quite distraught. "Where is Steve?", he asked. Tony pointed to the double doors. "Inside with Bucky and Sam. He's giving birth to your baby." Thor's blue eyes widened when he heard the screams from inside. He recognized the voice when there was a loud, agonizing, "HOLY MOTHER- FUCK!" from inside.

He stepped into the room, spotting the one person that's been on his mind all day. Steve was on the bed, screaming and cursing at every single person in the room. At one point, earlier, he had kicked one of the male nurses in the butt out of pure anger.

Bucky was on the right side of him while Sam was on the other side. The Falcon was instructing him to breathe and push, which helped calm Steve down a little.

Thor had came to him, taking a spot next to Bucky. "Love, I'm here."

Steve looked up with bright, relief filled blue eyes. He let out a sigh through his red lips, forehead drenched in sweat. "Thor... what took so long?"

Rough fingers ran through the short blond hair in response. "That doesn't matter, angel. I am now here."

There was a slow nod before a shout was let out. Quickly Steve's relief turned into anger. "GAH! I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU DID THIS TO ME! IT'S YOUR FAULT, ODINSON!"

Thor fell back at the sudden holler. Bucky looked down at him, shaking his head in disapproval. "And you call yourself the god of thunder."

* * *

Three hours had passed since then. The group were gathered inside the room, around the bed to see the new addition to the Avenger family. In Steve's arms was a tiny baby girl. She had dirty whitish-blond curls. Her skin was a fair complexion, mirroring both of her parents'. Her eyes were closed, but the proud parents knew from what the doctor told them that she needed time to open them. She had her tiny fingers wrapped around her carrier's fingers, letting out soft sounds now and then. Steve felt a tear fall from his eye, wiping it away.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yup. You and Point Break make some real cute babies.", Tony teased. Beside him, Bruce chuckled. "Hope you mean that."

"I do. I truly do. Congrats to a healthy baby and a new addition to the family.", the genius smiled. Steve smiled back, reaching over and grabbing Tony's hand to give it a squeeze. "Thank you, Tony. Makes up for the mistake you made earlier."

Tony gave a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry. I'll be sure to keep in mind to not give the Maximoffs coffee."

"Damn.", Pietro mumbled. The Twins were off of their coffee rush. It had faded during the birth of the baby girl. But Wanda's spell hasn't. Clint was cuddling to Phil's side, who gave up on trying to avoid his advances. "That's a very cute baby.", the marksman admitted. "Phil, we should try for a baby. I want a baby girl just like that." Clint's magenta eyes twinkled in happiness at the thought.

Phil had let out a sigh, slapping his forehead as Pietro had let out a growl. The speedster glared at the older agent, drawing his finger across his neck. "I. Will. Hurt. You.", he promised. Wanda exhaled sharply.

"Okay. I had my fun.", she muttered, getting off of Vision's lap and walking over to Clint. She flicked his forehead with a audible thud. "Ow!", Clint hissed, rubbing his forehead as his eyes went back to their original dark blue color. "That actually hurt, Wanda."

He blinked, realizing he was cuddled up against someone. He looked to his left and gasp seeing that person was Phil. "Why am I on your lap?", he questioned, standing up quickly. "You were under a love spell.", Natasha answered. "The culprit is your boyfriend's sister."

At that, Loki smirked, nodding at Wanda's good work while said magic user blushed. "My bad."

"I don't reckon you do it again, sister.", Pietro threatened, drawing Clint to him and kissing him deeply. Steve and Thor exchanged glances before shrugging and continuing cooing at their little girl.

"What would you like to name her, angel?", Thor asked, letting the baby attach her other hand around his large finger. Steve bit his lip in thought. "I honestly don't know. I want to give her a name that's meaningful. Something worthy."

"Will Peggy suffice?" Both Bucky and Steve gave the thunder god a shocked look. Thor had noticed their stares, being slightly uneasy at them. "Um... well, from all the tales you of told me of her I reckon Peggy is quite the warrior and worthy. I think we should respect her legacy.", Thor admitted. Steve looked down at the baby and back at his husband. He eased into the pillow thinking over the name. "Yeah. Let's name her Peggy."

The baby gave a soft, angelic coo, opening her eyes to reveal sparking blue orbs with specks of violet in them, rivaling both of her parents. Steve smiled. "Hey, little Peggy. Welcome to the family. We waited for you for a very, very long time." Peggy gave a small sound in response, looking around and wiggling in Steve's arms.

Loki chuckled. "My niece is rather... twitchy.", he commented, reaching forward to touch the baby's foot. Peggy glanced his way, making another small noise. "That's right, Baby Peggy. That's your Uncle Loki.", the blond soldier said. He turned her towards the others, moving her carefully as if she was like glass.

"And there's the rest of your uncles and aunts. There's your uncles Bruce and Tony. Your auntie Natasha and your uncle Clint."

"Hey, there pretty baby.", Natasha greeted, pressing her finger gently on Peggy's plumpy pink cheek. "We're going to spoil you like crazy."

"Natasha...", Steve warned. Nat just shrugged. "Continue."

"There's your uncles Pietro and Vision and your aunt Wanda."

Wanda stepped forward, getting a closer look at the baby. Peggy stared at her for a while before giving a small gesture with her lips that could be known as a smile. The redhead giggled. "She's adorable. A tiny little angel."

"She's worth the wait.", Bucky commented. Sam nodded, agreeing with his boyfriend and laying his head on his shoulder. "Very much so."

Steve then turned Peggy to the couple. "And there's your godfathers, Sam and Bucky. They'll be there for you when Daddy and I aren't."

The couple gave wide smiles at the claim. "Steve, really?", Bucky questioned. It was Thor that spoke. "Of course, Brother Bucky. You and Sam are the perfect candidates. You have proven great worth of the titles."

"Is it me or is 'worth' the word of the day?", Tony teased. Leia had reached over and flicked his head. "Shut up, Stark. I can see why my uncle mentally kills you during meetings.", she deadpanned. Nick smirked at her statement while Tony paled, frowning a bit. "Yeah. You are Fury's relative."

Leia chuckled. "His one and only niece, Stark." She walked over to Thor and Steve, giving them both a pat on the back. "Congrats on the beautiful, healthy baby girl, you two." She leaned given further to Baby Peggy. "And welcome to the world, Peggy." The baby cooed at her. She had let go of Thor's finger to softly tap Leia's nose. Leia giggled softly in response, touching the baby's hand. "Hello to you, too."

The female agent stood straight and headed for the door. She stopped at the entrance with a straight laced expression on her fine features. "Oh. And just so we're clear, don't you _**ever**_ bring glitter and paint into this Headquarters unless it's for a reason _**I**_ deem good enough. Got it?"

The Twins nodded anxiously in response. Leia gave a Cheshire grin before disappearing out into the halls. Phil was the first to let out a breath. "Sir, she is truly your relative. How does she go from happy to serious in a split second?"

"She's trained.", was the blank answer. Fury turned on his heel and walked out, giving Thor and Steve a congratulations before he left.

* * *

It was now nightfall. The group was back at the Tower, huddled in the den with a movie playing in the background. It happened to be 'Big Hero 6' chosen by Tony. He wanted to comment on the many similarities between him and Hiro.

"I'm just saying. He could be like my mini-me."

"Tony, no.", Steve said, rocking Peggy in his arms gently while kissing her forehead gently. Tony pouted, crossing his arms. "Oh. So you can have a doppelganger, but I can't?"

"One, Hiro doesn't look like you. Two, Johnny isn't my doppelganger. He just happens to look like me."

"It's still creepy.", Clint admitted as Pietro placed him in his lap. The speedster kissed his neck and drew his fingers beneath Clint's dark purple tee to rub circles on the archer's stomach. "Very much so, little bird." He looked over when Peggy made a small sound, her eyes opening to reveal bright frosty blues. He smiled when she met his gaze and cooed again in curiosity. Wanda noticed and smiled. "And to think that a smaller being came out of Steve.", she mumbled. There was an added yawn with that. Almost out of instant, Vision stood and lifted her up. "Hey!", the female twin protested, but not at the fact it was her boyfriend who lifted her.

"We're not going to deal with a dramatic coffee rush again. You're going to bed right now.", Vision ordered, carrying the younger twin to her room. When the two were out of sight, everyone turned to look at Pietro. Even Baby Peggy joined.

The speedster noticed the stares and scrunched his nose in annoyance. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

It was a moment of silence before Bruce broke it. "Um… Pietro, maybe you, too, should head for bed. I don't think we need another repeat of today.", he admitted, shifting nervously beside Tony who placed his arm around his shoulders. Pietro grunted. "Fine. I'll go, bbbbbuuuutttt…." Clint yelped when Pietro stood and lifted him bridal style within seconds. Clint's arms went around the younger's neck, a glare added. "Pietro!"

"… I'm not feeling tired. Maybe my little archer could come with me and find way to tire me out though."

The archer blushed, Natasha holding in a giggle at her bestie's face. "Pietro…"

"You know you want to, little bird."

Without waiting for answer, the younger sped out the room. That left the rest to ponder on what just happened. "Um…", Steve started. Loki had flopped beside him after rummaging through the kitchen for another jar of Nutella. "I guaranteed that you and my brother are the reason Pietro is now promiscuous towards Clint."

"Because we have a baby?"

Loki nodded. "Yup. But she's a blessing." Thor looked down at his daughter, smiling brightly at her. Loki was right. Baby Peggy was a blessing. A blessing to her parents and the rest of her family. It should have been biologically impossible to have her, but because her father was a god and her 'mother' was his mate, she happened. It was a good thing though. Steve didn't think he would ever have a family once he woke up in the 2010s and Thor didn't think he would have his mate. And now, here they were, sitting with their newborn daughter, Peggy Thyra Rogers-Odinson.

"I agree, brother. She is a blessing and I couldn't be even more happier.", the blond god said, leaning closer to Steve ad kissing him. "I love you, Steven."

Steve blushed, but kissed back before snuggling in Thor's chest, holding Peggy in a way to rock her. "I love you, too, Thor. And we love you, Peggy." The baby cooed back as if she understood, slowly grabbing Steve's finger before closing her eyes to fall asleep.

* * *

 **So there we have it! The new addition of the Avengers Family! Baby Peggy Thyra Rogers-Odinson! What a cutie. :3**

 **BTW, Thyra means like a thunder in Norse. Yes, I gave her a Norse middle name… that associates with thunder… yeah…**

 **REVIEW!**


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